MARRIAGE MATTERS
Session 3: God’s Purpose for Marriage,
Transformation
CONNECT
Why did
God want me to get married? I had plans; I had dreams. Getting hitched at 19 was not one of them! Why
did God work a series of impossible events so that I could get married? What is
so important about marriage that he allowed an entire country to fall under
Communism so that my future wife would emigrate to the USA and settle in
Albuquerque? What is so irreplaceable about marriage that my dad went bankrupt in
farming because three consecutive hail storms wiped out our entire crops? Why
did we move to Albuquerque? I believe it
was so that I could meet Alba, we could fall in love, and get married!
TENSION
Does it
really matter who I marry? Doesn't God's
will get worked out anyway? Why is the
right spouse so important? Isn't
marriage all about me being happy?
SOLUTION
All of
us have a story. What were the
circumstances that led to your and your spouse meeting and falling in
love? They are not coincidental. God has a purpose for marriage in general and
your marriage in particular.
INSPIRATION
Ecclesiastes
3:1 (NKJV) To
everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
Ephesians
1:11 (NKJV) In Him
also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the
purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will,
So if God
has a purpose for your marriage, what is it? God uses marriage to conform the
partners to reflect the image of of Jesus Christ!
Romans
12:2 (NKJV) And do
not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of
God.
We are
born being like the world: selfish, egotistical, brute beasts. God wants us to be changed as a testimony of
what is good, and acceptable and perfect.
This is His will!
2
Corinthians 3:18 (NKJV) But we
all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are
being transformed (changed) into the same image from glory to glory, just as by
the Spirit of the Lord.
I have had many couples come to me over the years on
the verge of divorce. I encourage them
not to. They often ask, "You mean I
have to live in misery the rest of my life with this jerk?" No, you can get a new husband or a new
wife. It can be the one you have now,
just changed to look like Jesus! Don't
you think Jesus would be a good husband?
Transformation is the purpose of marriage. Our
spouses are holy sandpaper to rub off things that don't look like Jesus!
Proverbs
27:17 (NKJV) As
iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
Spouses are each other’s best friend. The Lord wants to use that relationship to
mold your life to reflect the character of Jesus Christ. Just as diamonds are created deep in the heat
and pressure of the earth, just as metal is purified and molded by the heat of
the blast furnace, so marriage provides a forge where the man and wife are
fashioned into a beautiful reflection of his image. This is our calling and purpose: to reflect
His glory.
Divorces come because people refuse to be conformed
to the image of God! Have you noticed
that people have a tendency to marry the same type of person the second time?
Or third? Why? God is trying to change their character!
INSTRUCTION
How
does transformation happen? Paul gives some definitive instructions in
Ephesians.
Ephesians
5:15–33 (NKJV) See then that you walk circumspectly, not
as fools but as wise, 16redeeming the time, because the days are
evil. 17Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the
Lord is. 18And do not be drunk with wine, in
which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19speaking to
one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody
in your heart to the Lord, 20giving thanks always for all things to
God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21submitting to
one another in the fear of God.
1.
The things of God must have priority in your home.
VIDEO “Together
Again”
Psalm 27:1 (NKJV) “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in
vain that build it”.
a.
Let the Holy Spirit
fill your house
b.
Let worship fill your
house
i. Family devotions good but not necessary
c.
Let thankfulness fill
your house
d.
Let mutual submission
fill your house
22Wives,
submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is
head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of
the body. 24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so
let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
2.
Submission
to the scalpel of God as it is wielded by our spouse is essential.
a.
Let God cut away
pride
b. Let God cut away selfishness
c.
Let God cut away
rebellion
d.
Let God cut away
stubbornness
25Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water
by the word, 27that He might present her to Himself a glorious
church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be
holy and without blemish. 28So husbands ought to love their own
wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29For
no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the
Lord does the church.
3.
The
husband is the pastor of the home.
a.
Let love rule
i. Sacrifice is the order of the day
b.
Let the Word cleanse
and sanctify
c.
Let God's glory be
the goal
i. Holy
ii. Perfect
iii. No spot
iv. No wrinkle
d.
Your family is your
offering to God.
i. It is the only thing you can take to heaven with
you.
ii. You will stand before God and give an account for
how your turns out.
30For we
are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31“For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh.” 32This is a great mystery, but I
speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let each one
of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that
she respects her husband.
4.
Your marriage is the best picture of Jesus's love
for His bride!
God loves marriage and hates divorce. Satan hates
marriage and loves divorce. Why? Satan knows its power for transformation.
ACTION STEPS
Ephesians
4:31
NKJV Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor,
and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
Ephesians
4:32
NKJV And be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians
3:18-19
NKJV
Wives, submit to your
own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not
be bitter toward them.
HASHTAG
#Changed
